i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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