Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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