dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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