If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
