i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
