You really coming over, don't trick.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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