my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
