i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
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I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
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He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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