Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
