i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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