i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
