you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
