READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
