He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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