Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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