There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
