its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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