Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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