you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
My vagina just recognized that song.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
