walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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