so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
where am i from again
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
