I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
they're like a gay fantastic four
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
