Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize