And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
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you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
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Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
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