White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
