How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
