I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
