woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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