Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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