ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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