Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
