oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
