Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
