i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
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coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
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At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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