The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Randomize
