he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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