R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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