it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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