So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just blew my weed a kiss
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
