am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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