For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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