I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
