I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Boobs speak an international language.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
