i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Dignity is for republicans.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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