I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
