You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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