Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize