Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
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we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
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I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for