you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts