I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
