if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize