he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
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I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
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In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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