So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
