The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
She announced her abortion via fbk
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
