Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
