you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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