FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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