I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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